Half of our lives, we are attending events that do not belong to us, striving to impress other people, to prove our allegiance to the society we live in.
We hurry to a destination we chose previously, but eventually, that seems aloof and deceiving. We think we are lucky when become successful and, in fact, that will put on end to our provocative exploration of the self. Being unaware of our personal decline, we levitate in a space that is not ours.
Many times, I had the impression that I was losing myself in the process of fertilising my life, of making it meaningful, successful, productive and noticeable.
After a while, I realised that being noticed by people around you comes with a price; once you are in the public eye, you are gradually losing yourself while you are gaining the social virtue.
The more present you are in other people’s lives, the farther you are from yourself. I wasn’t able to recognise myself in the process of becoming important and I treated myself like a distant relative.
The past was like an unaesthetic foe, an episode of alienation, an encounter with a burn out God and a lesson I never attended. I have learned to drop my eyes into my selfness, to create my own events of the heart, to pay attention.
Lately, we have noticed that we are not actors on our life’s stage. We are remote, in the distant corners of our mind, being afraid of living, creating our spiritual mythology in the void of our hearts.
Scared we are, drifting in our solitude, hiding behind successful lives. Craving for a well-tailored happiness, we are sitting in the audience, watching our life unfurl, but we forget to love neatly, accurately, like God.
Do not rob your heart of romance with your present, make it eternal, make it delightfully acute, like a emotional javelin thrusting dry hearts, fighting the our rhetorical fears.
Present is by no means a present. A spontaneous reaction of our conscience, an immediate soliloquy of our heart. In my universe of words, I am learning to welcome the radiance of sadness. Sickness and panic around me are affecting the way I live the way I feel the words, the way I travel inside my thoughts.
Future is blissful. I have to encounter my thoughts more often, to tame them, to cherish them, to offer them a blessed normality, a wholeheartedly routine.
I shall promise to myself to have a date with my thoughts every day and to let their frenzy take me to the end of my mind journey, giving my inner stories a glorious ending.
We are eminently alive, when we don t die. We cannot avoid living! It is like the Sun that shines implacably, every single day, not having other choice. But sometimes we are eloping with our minds, searching for different inner universes.
We feel lonely within ourselves and we crave for extraordinary and we daydream, not confronting our warlike conscious. We could either sit on a rocking chair dreaming about our potent future, or we could grab present by the neck and start moving.
But we cannot escape, life goes on, having its own cadence and sun is always there, even if he had a bad night! It follows the permanence if nature, never skipping work, boringly present, predictable, except the times when he affords eclipses.
Many times, I am above my time, in an unconscious floating, waiting to experience the throb of events. When they occur, I do not really feel them, like there is somebody else living them.
In spite of all, I clearly have an intuition of ‘’now’’ that consists in a momentary triumph of presence over the absence. I am doggedly dedicated to the act of living, no matter what and that has forced me to participate to my own present enthusiastically.
Once, I have started to break the rhythm of my projection about the future and live thoroughly in the very moment of my time, using my sense of immediateness, a growing a kind of awareness of present reality has elicited the thrill in my present mind.
When I get acquainted to my presence, I have felt a metaphysical intimacy with myself and I became magnified and yet transformed. Focusing on the creative truth of the moment grants me the pure joy of life.
Transience of every moment conveys a sheer delight of cheering the virtue of being ephemeral in the transitory rewards that makes me passionate about life and embrace the change within.
I reckon that my own presence reveals the geometry of my senses in such unexpected ways that I could feel it in every bone, being aware of my own person.
A piece of enlightenment for you, my dear lambkins, is to remain radiant no matter what, at least in yourselves and not to lose yourselves in other people’s lives, but in your very own!
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