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  • Writer's pictureLaura Grá

An awfully fair letter to Beth

Updated: Jun 27, 2023

I felt you for the first time, I swam into the waters of your mind and I felt dead and reborn in an ergonomic temporality. 

I knew it was you who climbed your Golgota with your mind. First, I fell in love with your pain, with your scream, cause I recognised it. I heard it in my daughter's loud  silence, in her aching soul. Then, I let your music throbbing into my veins, naked, painful, sharp. And I cried of joy and I understood the beauty in your pain. I heard your scars in the sound of your heart and I knew you do not do drugs anymore , but you became drugs and people crave for the pleasure of listening to you, cause you know how to open the doors of their perception, to travel into their wounds and back and create bliss. 

It is you who gave me hope with my daughter who got lost in her way to herself, choosing the dark side of the moon, where her anxiety and trauma dwell, where drugs and alcohol are love surrogates. 

Your music became my hope. I brought her to one of your concerts in Bucharest, but, sadly, she didn't get it. 

As for me, I was diving deeper into your soul, searching for a rainbow. And I found it! I saw your rebirth, your soul metamorphosis. I witnessed how you turned majestically pain into joy. And I understood this is the way. I have rebranded my sadness, calibrated my anger and I have moved on. 

Few weeks ago I had the privilege to be part of your audience at Open Blues Festival in Brezoi and what a regal performance it was! 

I was connected to you, once more in the light of your sound. Three times I attended your concerts:first time, in Bucharest, then London and Brezoi. Every time, you wore a different musical coat and this is the miraculous part of your music. 

. It follows your heart. And what i like the most is the inequality and the unpredictability of your music. It startles me, it conquers me, touching my darkness and dragging it to the light. Goddess you are! You do not sing, but your voice dance in the air, sometimes frantic, other times, tamed like the two sides of the same storm. You live your death in advance just to have a taste of it before the time is right. 

Your audience is ecclectic. Lovers and haters. The most beautiful part is that even haters come to your concerts, cause they cannot help themselves

. It is because you fill their  hate with your love. And your are uncomfortable and mad in the most graceful way! So difficult to carry! For you wrestle with your emotions, elevate them, turning them into music. You, Beth, you make love with your demons on the stage and that's bloody scary for the ones who are not acquainted to their own. For them, you are their musical overdose. For me, you are a metaphysical heroin that touches parts of my soul I did not even know I have. 

Thank you for turning my life upside down and teaching me to find love in sorrow! 

I'd rather go blind than not to listen to you! 

Laura, a music addict, an undefeated mother and many more… 

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